I remember being 215 lbs as I was graduating high school and moving into my college sophomore dorm alone at 250 lbs.
I remember working so hard my junior year of college and dropping down to 200. Then I'd find myself feeling pretty cruddy about my college experience, working hard on school work, living in my own apartment and having to work two jobs just to make things happen for myself and totally feeling like I was giving my whole self to everyone else but me!
I graduated weighing about 250 (major weight gain after dropping down). I found myself in a relationship throughout college and settling down with him to raise a family. Losing and gaining, again and again. Then I got preggers. So here we go again! Back up on the scale and back down shortly after. I got married when my daughter was two and I found myself buying a size 12 dress and returning it the week before the wedding for a size 16.
I just continued to climb the scale after that... losing a few more times and working out so hard. I hit 275 lbs and was wearing a size 26. Running after my toddler was no joke! I ended up having weight loss surgery... not once, Twice. I didn't learn the first time around and I was working on not figuring it out the second time around as well!
I even ran a few Spartan Races and Tough Mudders... Somewhere there was some will to be successful. It get's better (or really worse). I only got down to 215 lbs. I sat here for a while, until I did some real deep work with regards to my weight, my relationship to food and the spiritual journey I needed to be on! That's where the real work happened!
I found out the deep work was my lifestyle... and most importantly mindset. I had to be ready for the change. Ready to be consistent and ready to show up for myself every freakin' time! I changed my diet, my lifestyle, the people, places and things I associated with, my outlook on life, even got a divorce and I set high goals for myself and accomplished them!
We are capable of achieving anything we want, as long as we tell ourselves we are worthy of it and we start to believe it! Once we believe, we practice it and once we practice it we become it. I started to believe somewhere in this journey that I was a healthy, fit momma capable of running three miles without dying!
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