If you are someone who is in recovery or knows about the 12 steps to recovery... then you know this was easily comparable to a huge uphill battle with a 100 Lb sack on my back with no food or water in my system throughout this experience!
That said, I am not in recovery and these two things are not comparable, however I have studied the 12 steps and actively used them for various issues throughout my life. Here is how I used them in regards to my divorce.
1. I really had to admit that i was powerless over the situation and that my marriage had become unmanageable. We became two strangers passing through the day and night!
2. When I made the decision to finally move on, I had to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and that I wouldn't continue to live in pain, fear or resentment.
3. I had to really make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my higher power and I had to really give in to the fact that my negative thoughts did not control me.
4. This is when the real work started to happen! I started searching within myself and had to take a fearless moral inventory of myself. This is when the positive affirmations and all that Hocus Pocus juju shit comes into play!
5. I admitted to my higher power, to myself, and to other human beings the exact nature of my wrongs in the situation and had to sit in my discomfort.
6. I was entirely ready to remove all these defects of character and do some deep soul searching for how I could become a better person to myself and to others.
7. I humbly asked my higher power and my inner voice to remove my shortcomings.
8. During this time I even made a list of all persons I had harmed, withdrew from and avoided. I became willing to make amends to them all, including myself!
9. I made direct amends to the people I was closest with. I rekindled friendships I had neglected and created new opportunities for myself whenever possible.
10. Throughout this experience I continued to take personal inventory. I still do. I take a hard look within myself and I work to admit my wrong doings... even when it's difficult to do. I hate admitting when I am wrong (Aries thing)!
11. I sought through prayer and medication (and still do) to improve my conscious contact with my higher power, Mother Nature and my own mind power!
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, I continue to try and carry this message to others who are struggling through relationships. food issues, negative mindset and continued lack of self LOVE! I try to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
I was in the 11th grade when I entered into open AA groups! My School Social Worker thought it would be a good way for me to deal with my parents divorce, some family issues that were going on and my OCD. He told me to go with an open mind and for the first few sessions I was angry and confused as to why I was even going. I remember one day when I was asked to share my story. I won't go into much detail on it, but it was that day that I learned my OCD was an addiction. I was obsessed with cleanliness and struggled with the lack of control in my life, my thoughts racing through my mind and I allowed them to control me. It was the day I spoke of my OCD as an addiction that I learned the 12 steps can help anyone in any situation learn to forgive themselves, others and move past all that was wrong in a very positive and uplifting way... if you allowed it!
I wouldn't say I am a super religious person, but spirituality is another ball game! So with that... I close this note on my favorite prayer:
Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.