Updated: Apr 21, 2020
My prior blog post was all about self growth through your journey. I shared ten different things that have helped me throughout my journey that we should take into consideration to better understand ourselves and make that positive change in our lives. Over the course of the next few weeks we are going to dive a bit deeper into these ten topics. The first on my list was Getting to Know Yourself. This post will hopefully assist you in figuring out the HOW behind getting to know who you are a bit more!
You're not born knowing yourself.
So, let's just get this one thing out there and in the open! You are not BORN KNOWING YOURSELF! I think this really comes from not letting others determine your value and your capabilities. You know the good ol' family, friends, coworkers, heck- even your children. I grew up in a middle class family. On the outside, we had it all. In the inside, we were just as messed up as anyone else. I remember hearing a lot of limiting feedback (maybe not always intentional), but that loop still plays in my head on repeat, especially when I think about changing things up or coming out of my comfort zone. We are raised up by our caregivers and the generational belief systems of all our ancestries of who we are. It isn't until we get the chance to start making our own decisions and start living independently that we get to choose to be who we are and get to know yourself.
The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only wayto know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart. — Mike Dooley
Get to Know Your Personality
You can find out a lot about yourself and your personality by taking a personality test, doing self-reflection and understanding what personality traits mean. When you take a personality test you aren't going to relate to every last thing they share, but the general gist is there and it can be an A-ha moment, where you totally just learned something about yourself. I really enjoyed taking the 16 personality inventory test myself and it's free online! If you are in a leadership role at work, taking a DiSC personality test is also a great way to learn about yourself. This test ends with a comprehensive report, however it does cost money.
Personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own. —Soren Kierkegaard
Get to Know Your Core Values
Lets break this down for you a bit. Core values are the principles by which we live, operate and structure our lives. These fundamental beliefs dictate behavior. They are the principles that help us differentiate between right and wrong. Our core values are used as the lenses in which we view ourself and the world. Our values can change over time and develop. At any given moment we can make a shift in our values and belief system. As our values develop, we prioritize them, change them, or hold onto them to form our own personal truth. With that we shape our self-esteem, decision-making skills, expression of value, fulfillment, and resilience (along with a whole lot more). It's time to move from what your values are to how you can express them to promote your own wellbeing. There are useful tools and more assessments online that can help with this! There is the Life Values Inventory that takes you through the steps on getting to know your core values but also creating a comprehensive process and plan. The assessment takes about 10 minutes to complete and then allows you to download a PDF. I learned that I hold creativity, achievement and responsibility very high on my list! I would suggest taking an inventory to better understand your values, its a great way to reshresh and refocus. It's also a great way to learn more about what you want from yourself and what you may need to change.
The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and to hold them in the right scale of values. — Norman Thomas
Get to Know Your Body
Here is a list of things you should do to listen more closely to your body. These are great ways to get to know yourself in a deeper and more connected way.
Take time to feel the bottom of your feet connect with the ground. Especially outside in the garden! I open garden barefoot, it makes me connected to Mother mother nature!
Look at Your Body in the Mirror
While you look ato yourself in the mirror, study your body. Look for simularities, changes you want to make, things you love and what you dislike. Then look yourself dead in the mirror and send yourself some positive affirmations, over and over each morning.
My brain is on pilot mode 24/7 or at least it feels like that! Take time to sit quietly and meditate, while focusing on cooking yourself with white light, send love to your body, embrace the parts of you that you dislike and send them positivity as well! This about where you may be feeling pain and send yourself some healing thoughts!
Take an inventory fo what you are eating. Do this for a few days or a week. This will teach you so much about your gut health, sleeping habits, sluggish feelings and much more.
Change up Your Diet
After you journal what you ate, change up your diet for a few days. I recently went on the whole Keto thang for a few months, and then tried carb cycling. What I ended up learning from the experience was that I had less headaches, reduced gas and a better ability to think more clearly when I took grains out of my diet! Give yourself permission to make a change, just to see how your body reacts!
Breathe Deeply & Often
I started doing this about 10 years ago. Maybe it was because I have small nasal passages and breathe from both my nose and my mouth! However, whatever the reason, I always have this desire to take a few huge deep breathes from my nose. I do them throughout the day and very intentional. Sometimes I am in meetings and I take one. The response to me taking a deep breathe is always different and interestesting. Try it sometimes... you may even laugh!
Sleep Naked Once in a While
I am only giving you this tip because I saw others giving it. I can't really speak from example on this, mostly because I am so cold all the time! I will say if you have a similar issue and have a warm partner to cozy into, then this is the perfect time to try it or a great electric blanket. If you feel you can't sleep naked, then try going commando for a a few nights!
Take a Morning Inventory
Each morning before you get out of bed, check in with yourself. Think about how you mind, body and soul are feeling. If anything weighs on you, spend a moment on that and meditate!
Do Music Therapy to Yourself
A wise woman once shared with me that we do music therapy to ourselves each day, the moment we decide to put a specific kind of music on. Music isn't filtered by the Brian, it goes directly to your soul. Make sure you are listening to uplifting lyrics and do not spend much time on trash music!
Holy Cow! Did you feel that? Stretching is a great way to get in tune with your muscles and ligaments. Stretch in the mornings and the evenings!
Take a Freakin' Bath
Baths are not just for kids. Believe it or not... I take 4-5 baths a day. I usually do this after working a long day and going to the gym. It's a great way to meditate, get in touch with your body and how you are feeling, warm up, read a book or take time for quite bliss!
This goes without needing to really talk about it. However, I will incase you need to hear this. Either please yourself and know what gets you going... or seek out a partner to help manifest your pleasure points!
And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this. — Nayyirah Waheed
Get to Know Your Dreams
There is no right or wrong here. Chances are you already have an idea of what your dreams are. Maybe you have vividly thought about them, shared them with others, made a mental picture or even a story of what they are. Perhaps you have thought about them, never talked about them and stored a pictures somewhere deep inside yourself. Maybe you thought you had them, like a mother duck and her babies all lined up, and something terrible happened and now you need to create new ones. Dreams can change, they can shift and morph into so much as time goes on and as you develop into who you are meant to be! Any way you look at it, its really important to establish a clear picture of where you want to be and what you want to achieve. You have to picture your future, create a vision for yourself (this is where vision boards come in handy). You have to focus on what you have and what you have to do to to achieve what you want to have! Keep your focus strengths based and on your potential! Do not focus on the have nots, the
problems and the downside... keep your thoughts positive and believe in yourself. When the crap gets hard and you want to quit because it's too difficult or the people around you aren't supportive... you better STICK WITH IT! Never let the environment or the people around you bring you down. Change the people, places and things around you! Take daily action to get there! Each day make a deliberate action step to get to your vision, your dream. Whether it's adding a new item to your vision board or creating another blog post or reading a chapter in a self help book to help you achieve your goals... Just do the darn thang! You will pick up enough momentum that eventually you will be doing that thing you set out to do! I'm still in the beginning phases myself. I have a great career, however, what I want is financial independence and to help others create their dreams... this is just the start! As you continue to shift your thoughts and behaviors in the direction you need to go in, you will create the shift and change in accomplishing your dreams!
Reach for the stars, follow your dreams —Tattoo'd on Me!
Get to Know your Likes and Dislikes
Through all this I hope that you are able to understand your likes and dislikes. Often times we can tell others what we like, because that is what we concentrate on. I often tell people to think about what brings them joy. I find that younger people (adolescence) have no idea what brings them joy, so we start with where they find happiness in their day. Is that in a particular class, a set of people, a place in the community and then I ask them to explore that more, to try and pinpoint the pivotal point of JOY! I can often get a response to what they do not like! It's interestesting how we shift gears when we are adulting to block out what causes you unhappiness or dissatisfaction. However, one of the first steps in really getting to know yourself and reflecting on your likes and dislikes is actually sitting down and writing out a list of all the things you like and dislike. Go ahead, grab that paper! We use our likes and dislikes to describe ourselves to others. They are the things that we can either relate to others on or that separate us from those we surround ourselves with. Knowing yourself better can help guid you in career choices, hobbies, friendships, living arrangements and much more. In taking inventory of your likes and dislikes go our and try someone totally new. I for one am going to try to eat a meal by myself at a restaurant. I have feared this my entire life, and put it in the dislike column without every actually giving it a shot. I set myself up for such a rigid point of view that I may or may not have missed out on the most peaceful experience of my life! I dare you to tackle that list and create some mischief in your own life to really discover where your comfort zone is and where the line really exists or doesn't!
The firmest friendship is based on an identity of likes and dislikes. — Sallust